Thursday, July 10, 2008

too much pressure.. or not enough?

When my bf and I moved in together we had an agreement on when we would get engaged... the end of this year. And I have never once asked that we speed things up because I do believe we need to spend more time getting to know each other first.

But recently I have come to wonder if we will, in fact, get engaged by the end of the year. He hasn't come out and said anything differently but there are times here and there where little mentions are made. Like we haven't known each other that long or that he has no money for the ring so he shouldn't be getting engaged.

Needless to say, I have started to worry which in turn has led me to say things to him that he feels is pressure. My main objective is for him to know that I am very serious about the end of year because I was hesitant to move in together in the first place for the very fear I am having now. And if he decides he is not ready then he will have to move out. Yes, I know I am worrying far too soon and I have to have faith. I just have gotten my heart broken so many times before that I really don't know how I would cope with it.

So for now we are both feeling a little hurt.. he that I pressure him and me that he can't reassure me that it will all be fine.

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