Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Are we meant to be?

I started this blog to write about my relationship and life. I sometimes find myself holding back (already) from writing what's on my mind and I need to stop that. It ruins the point of me even writing if I censor my feelings.

I often wonder if my bf and I will make it to forever. We are so different when it comes to working, money, and even just plain everyday thinking sometimes.

I make a good living, but I always thought when I found my true love we would work together to build a future. Right now he is busy, but not necessarily making a living yet. And certainly not one that would enable us to be comfortable having a family. He is a scrapper, and always finds a way to support himself. Now that we live together I wonder if he I have made it too easy for him to find himself without any sense of urgency because I own a house, pay many of the bills, etc.

When we moved in together the agreement was that we would get engaged by the end of the year. I wasn't 100% comfortable moving in together in the first place, but I thought if we had an agreed date it would make it better. Now I wonder if he will try to extend the date. He has not really said that, but there have been a few alarming comments that make me wonder.

I, however, am sticking to my guns. If he isn't ready after living with me for a year to get engaged then he never will be and we are not made to be. As pessimistic as it sounds, I have already formulated a plan B in the event we break up. I love him so much and can't imagine not being with him, but I also won't stay with someone who doesn't want to commit to me.

So while I am not panicking and I know there is still plenty of time until the end of the year, a little part of me can't help but wonder if we really are meant to be man and wife one day.

1 comment:

Taken Girl said...

Wish I had some advice to offer, but it sounds like you have things figured out and you have a good plan! Stick to your guns though for sure, if he can't handle that, then you two aren't meant to be, even that isn't guaranteed if he follows through, that's just how relationships are. You just have to see if the two of you are compatible in how you get along and if you have the same goals and ideals in life. Of course there's more to it than that, but that's a start!