Wednesday, June 25, 2008

My biggest struggle...

with my relationship that is. I have a fairly normal work schedule in that I leave the house in the morning and return several hours later. My bf however, works from home. At least he sometimes works. He is self employed and while he has the potential to do really well he sometimes lacks focus. This in turn can lead to weeks where he makes nothing.

I should also say that he has been successful in the past but a bad business deal pretty much wiped him out. I think it has definitely affected his psyche as well.

He is full of ideas on launching new businesses and developing new products, but I feel you need to have some savings and security before you take that risk. And right now, he just doesn't have that. I earn a good living and do not need him to support me yet I worry about our future and fear that I will come to resent the way he is. When he does have money he is very generous with it, and it is not like he mooches off of me. I just know that I am more conservative and more of a fretter.

In some ways I am happier then I have ever been. I am very in love and have found a man who loves and accepts me as I am. Yet these doubts keep creeping in and they are all related to finances and our future.

I know money doesn't buy happiness and I am not saying he needs to make x amount- but I wouldn't mind a steady paycheck.

Everyone I know says its natural to have doubts, and they won't necessarily kill relationships. I am trying to learn to accept the way he is, and to realize we will be fine. I should appreciate the good he brings to my life instead of focusing on what is really the only challenge.

Has anyone else been in this type of situation? Any thoughts or advice?

1 comment:

Steph said...

no relationship comes without worry, especially if you are a worry-wart! seriously, if it ever gets too "perfect"....worry-away, because something's fishy!

you're still fairly fresh in this relationship....it'll take a while

does he need a new job and new focus?

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